Inside the mind of the clinically insane
by The Flamboyant Fop
Summary: Aragorn and Legolas find themselves trapped inside the mind of an author with writer's block. Short and silly.


Hey all! This… well, it's not really my first fic cos I've done stories with my fab friend Wyvern, but this is the first attempt on my own. Also my first LOTR fic. Short and very silly. Let me know what you think. I'll also write a story based on the summary described here at one point.  
  
~Fop~  
  
***  
  
Aragorn shifted uneasily in his sleep. He was tired, so much more tired than he'd let on, but sleep just wouldn't come tonight. He sat up, his eyes adjusting to the gloom. And realised that something was terribly wrong indeed.  
  
"Legolas! Wake up!" he hissed, prodding the elf who was fast asleep next to him.  
  
"Wstfgl?" muttered Legolas, turning over. Aragorn sighed and continued to poke the elf.  
  
"Alright, I'm up," sighed Legolas, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "What's up?"  
  
"Legolas, I think something's gone very, very wrong."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Open your eyes." Legolas obeyed, and scrambled up in shock.  
  
"Where are we? And what are those… things?" he asked, pointing at a heaving mass not far from them.  
  
"I have no idea." As they stood, staring, a long, white thing sped past them and attached itself to the scrambled mess.  
  
"What was that?" asked Aragorn slowly. Legolas motioned for him to be quiet. "What can you hear?" he whispered.  
  
"I can hear someone crying." He started walking towards the sound, the ranger following silently behind him. They could see too pools of light and Aragorn smiled with relief.  
  
They hurried to the pools of light and stopped. All they could see through the two holes was a white, blank screen. To the elf's surprise Aragorn laughed, which the last thing he felt like doing.  
  
"I know where we are!" announced the ranger. "We're stuck inside an author's head! That crying sound we can hear is him crying because he can't think of anything to write. That jumbled mess back there must be the words of the story."  
  
"Great, now how do we get out?" demanded Legolas.  
  
"I think all we have to do is un-jumble the words. Then we'll be able to get back."  
  
"Let's get started then!" said Legolas, rolling up his sleeves and preparing to work.  
  
*  
  
"So that's why we're here. This story's about us!" exclaimed Aragorn fifteen minutes later.  
  
"I know. I've just worked out the summary."  
  
"What does it say?"  
  
"You don't want to know."  
  
"Aww, go on, tell me!"  
  
"You're not going to like it."  
  
"Tell me, damn you!"  
  
"You're really not going to like it."  
  
"Legolas!"  
  
"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you." The elf took a deep breath and grinned. " "'After an argument, Aragorn has gone missing. Legolas must embark on a hunt through time, space, death and reality to find his love and utter the immortal words.'"  
  
"What??"  
  
"I know."  
  
"You and me? What sort of sick, twisted, demented mind would think like that? That's just…"  
  
"We're dealing with fanfiction here. Just keep calm. And don't try to picture it, whatever you do."  
  
"Oh, gods…"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I've just seen the words 'with a pink feather boa draped delicately over his shoulders. Help me! Pink doesn't suit me!"  
  
"Shut up. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can get out."  
  
*  
  
It seemed to take hours, but they finally managed to unscramble all the words. They stood back, admiring their handiwork. The completed story seemed to shimmer in all the colours of the rainbow.  
  
"Pretty, isn't it?" remarked Legolas, smiling. The ranger ignored him, trying vainly to block out the horrible pictures that had risen in his mind as he'd read the words.  
  
"Aha! I have it! Thank you, whatever deity has been listening to my prayers!" they heard the author shout, before a silver swirling mist enveloped them and the world went black.  
  
They opened their eyes and saw with immense relief that they were back on Middle Earth. Frodo and Sam were standing over them, looks of concern on their faces.  
  
"We've been looking for you everywhere, sirs!" squeaked Sam. "Where have you been!" Aragorn shivered.  
  
"You don't want to know." 


End file.
